idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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