Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
