I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Still dying that you shit outside
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
how drunk are you?
Several
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
