end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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