Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
