Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
