dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
