I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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