what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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