Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
