He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize