Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
