I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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