I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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