My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize