our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
