...so i touched it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize