I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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