I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
