with your own penis?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
