i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
