shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
this will be a night to untag.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
