Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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