I forgot how hot balto sounded
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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