Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
