did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
