is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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