How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
