i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
