dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize