PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize