i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
