This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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