Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
