would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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