Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
