Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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