shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize