I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
