I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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