any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize