Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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