You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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