Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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