I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize