Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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