Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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