I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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