I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
