We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize