are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
