Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
