I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
id be glad to
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize