Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
