Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
