i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
