Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
