i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
