trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
