Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Someone shattered a urinal.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
