Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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