i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
