Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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