I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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