goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wish I only lived at night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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