could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's blow job season.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
