Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
